Birth Story Love Dalian Chandrakaí 25.04.2021

The birth of Love Dalian was a very different experience. Our planned assisted home water birth took a surprising turn.

I had known for a long time that this pregnancy, this child and this birth, would usher me into The New; that this journey would be yet an opening of the New golden time. A time of mastery and maturity. Thus, I had to pay attention to every detail and every step of the way. I had to close down all possible distractions and go within. And as I’m writing this, in my early postpartum days, I am still in that energy of being extremely mindful of what could distract me from my task. I still keep the amount of people I let in to a minimum. 

Magdalena Chandrakaí

The precious postpartum is short and should always be honored with rest and stillness. For me, it is also a time for the family to welcome and integrate the new being into our tribe, finding our new rhythm and routines. This time will never come back. 

All we have is right now. 

I want to enjoy and experience this NOW as much as possible. 

And I want to give all of myself to my family and myself, not to others who want to come and “see the new baby”. (Really, have you thought about what we learn through patriarchy? Christianity tells us “come see the new baby”, to absorb the divine energy of “the king”. Rather than finding and holding that king/queen within ourselves. Anyways, that is a different story.)

This is the story of the birth of Love Dalian, my second baby boy. 

In this pregnancy, my womb held an entirely different energy than during my first one. A deeper, more feminine and calm energy. I knew instantly there was much to learn, if I listened well. I was so convinced it was a girl this time from the feminine calmness and the independent energy I experienced. When Love arrived, I realized that The New Golden Age deeply relies on men stepping into their sacred masculine as well as honoring and bringing out their sacred feminine to the world. 

I felt at peace as soon as I had him in my arms. He brings so much balance and peace to our family. And I immediately accepted my mission and work of leading the men of the new time. As now was the first time that I truly understood. For the men to step into their feminine (and sacred masculine), and to become the men of the new age, they need strong and grounded women to lead them. I am honored to be that leader for my tribe. 

Love brings watery energy and balance to our group. And I will protect his precious energy no matter what it takes. 

I knew he would surprise me, he is stubborn and does his own thing. That was clear from early on in the pregnancy. We expected a full moon baby and I said “no way the baby will be earlier than the full moon”. But as days got closer, I got a feeling that this birth would not only be different but it would surprise us. 

The last few days leading up to the full moon and due date, I felt the need for movement and yet I was heavy in a way that was new to me. My regular movements with yoga and work around the house wouldn’t do. So, me and Orion started having dance meditations every evening after dinner. We danced away to recordings of my Latin American Moon Dance songs. We all felt very grounded and at home, being part of the circle again, connected to our extended family.

And so, on the evening of April the 24th, I felt a lightness in my body. I felt all that you usually feel just before it’s time: light, strong, flowing, at ease and at peace. Ola also said, looking back, I had that kind of glow that a woman has just before she is about to enter birth. 

Dancing with the waters 

I woke up around midnight to go to the toilet, just as I did every night during pregnancy. I remember thinking “I will have to empty the colon more than expected before and during this birth.” The Moon was almost full and lit up the entire yard. I walked up to the window to look up and greet her. Her light filled the whole downstairs of the house. I smiled at her, feeling at home. 

Then I went back to bed and fell asleep, just to wake up about an hour later when the water broke. 

“Ola!”, I called out. “The water broke, get me some towels!”

He went up and got me the towels and then he said “I’ll go downstairs to prepare a few things.” To which I answered him to chill a bit, these things could take time and that I was gonna rest. I had not felt any contractions. So I tried to rest, just breathe and be with the water that kept running.

And just a little later, I started feeling waves moving in my uterus as the water moved. First very softly, then they grew to become a little longer and more obvious. Still very sweet and gentle. I breathed deeply and enjoyed the ride, answering the rolling waves with my deep and long exhalations. Soon, I felt my baby swimming inside. It was like he took a few strokes (not many), then paused to rest and wait for me and my body to respond. 

It was THE coolest feeling ever! 

When he stopped the swim strokes, it was quiet and still for a few seconds. Then, the waves started and my breath followed to deepen the swimming dance we were in. We did this dance for some time, maybe 30 minutes or so, during which I intuitively noticed that we were very regular: surges for about 1 minute and pause for 5 minutes. Then, I had to go to the toilet. So I went downstairs. 

Orgasmic waves

I shared with Ola the regularity and he said that he had texted the midwife and that now he was gonna call her. He did, and he kept calling a few times more, but couldn’t come through! 

After my visit to the toilet, I went to the ceremonial room and sat down by the altar. For some reason, I didn’t feel like it was time to fill the pool yet. And I wanted Ola to share the moment with me. So we both sat down in front of the altar and lit candles. And the waves started again, now for longer periods and deeper. I don’t know how else to describe them. There was no pain involved, only sweet orgasmic waves washing through my uterus and I followed with my breath; soft long exhalations. The pauses didn’t allow me to lay down and rest, and I didn’t feel the need to. Rather I started to sing to gather more energy and air to our swim-dance. I sang to the water. And, at some point I told Ola to clock the surges as I felt they were getting longer. 

On the evening before, I had the insight that this birth would require me to completely empty my colon. Like in that being a thing, a part of the birth process. And, indeed it was. Two more times, I went up from my place at the altar and went to the toilet. Every time I got back, the waves deepened. Walking to and from the toilet was an important part of marking “now something is shifting” through movement. But, maybe I moved a little too fast in these transitions. I walked and talked just “as normal”, even checked the clock at one point. Being very present in all realms. 

The orgasmic waves in my uterus had a little break. Then, by the fourth time I visited the bathroom, the urge to push appeared! Just like that! Already? I thought. I knew now it’ll be fast and that I had to get back to the ceremonial room. 

“Fill the pool, I said to Ola, the baby is coming”. (Like we would have time?) 

He attempted to fill it, but clearly, he had to come back to me and be by my side. I had to move slowly now not to rush anything. I managed to get through the kitchen and then I had to get down on all fours to try slowing things down a little bit. But it was too late, I couldn’t move at all without also moving forward the contractions. We were now in Orion’s play room, just at the entrance of the ceremonial space. I had not even undressed yet, I still wore pyjamas, a bathrobe and long woolen socks (we talk knee-high thick socks here) and I wasn’t even hot!? (In comparison to the birth of Orion when I was overheated). 

The baby is coming

I was now on my knees, doing my very best to hinder the process from being too fast- in which case one could lose present awareness or tear, or cause a prolapse. I felt the head crowning with my hand, trying to balance myself with the other. I used my breath and sound to feel the head slide in and out, held my hand around the head and vaginal opening as I told Ola to get warm cloths and towels. It was no time though. In two contractions, the head was out. 

“The head is out” I called to him, “you have to help me catch the baby!”

“What?” he said, sounding a little confused. 

But he found his way under the bathrobe while I had a couple breaths and then my uterus did one last push and the baby was out. It was quiet. 

Ola said nothing. 

“Is she out!?”, I yelled. 

“It’s a he”, Ola answered and held up the baby so that I could see him. 

He instantly met my eyes; his eyes were open and clear- so awake. And he let out a little scream, to let us know he was here now. I took him in my arms, now realising I was wearing a bunch of clothes! I quickly undressed to be able to put him to my chest. We had a moment of catching our breath together, all three of us. Then, I said to Ola to go get Orion. (I can’t believe that boy, he sleeps through anything! Even my birthing sounds!) 

It was a little past 5 am on the morning of April 25th, and Orion came into the room very quietly and with the biggest smile. He was so happy the baby had arrived. We sat together, saying nothing for a while. Then it got cold and I was trying to birth the placenta. But it wouldn’t do with all that fuss around me. I was cold and not very comfortable. So we moved ourselves into the ceremonial room where it was warmer and more comfortable for all of us. 

Birthing the placenta

The third stage of the birth is to birth the placenta. In my opinion, this is the hardest part because now you have your baby and it’s easy to forget that it ain't over until it’s over! The third stage requires awareness, a good bodily position, and to use the surges with an actual push. When birthing the baby, the baby does the push himself, but birthing the placenta means I have to push a little too. My contractions had stopped when I got cold, and now also a little stressed with Ola running back and forth organising things. Also, I didn’t really know where to put the baby while I birthed the placenta. I only have two hands and it felt like I needed at least four!

Eventually, I managed to find a good spot to put the baby down, next to Orion who helped me watch him. And I could get into a squatting position. A few minutes earlier, I had asked Ola to massage my back with my special Birth Massage Oil and the surges were now back. I felt with my hand that the placenta was on its way out and realised I had to push to get it out completely. 

Ola was now talking on the phone! The midwife had woken up and seen his texts. And I was trying my best to focus on my task; breathing, pushing, keeping an eye on the kids and answering Ola’s questions. (Seriously, is this happening?).

It didn’t take long before I got the placenta out. I catched her in a bowl and layed down with my baby in my arms. I had had Ola earlier prepare me some hot yarrow tea and some cold rosa the jamaica water, which I now drank to keep the bleeding small and aid the uterus in cleansing. Ola had some freshly baked bread in the kitchen and now made us all breakfast while we waited for the midwife to arrive. 

The midwife arrives

About 4 hours after the birth, the midwife arrived. She had a 2 hour drive to get here. Now, one might think this caused me or us some stress. But I never felt that way, partly because I knew what I was doing but also because I had known all along that she wouldn’t be there for the actual birth. Since the first time I spoke with her and entered the contract, I intuitively knew that something would make her not be there in time. And I was fine with that. But having her here afterwards to examine me and the baby and the placenta is gold and I’m so grateful for that. What happened to the phone line that night is still a mystery though….

Having Orion present during the birth

During the entire pregnancy, I had said things like “ I'd rather just do it myself in the forest.”  But I knew very well how important this birth is and was for us as a family. As well as being such an important experience and life wisdom for Orión. The greatest I could ever give him in his journey to become a heart centered leader of the new age. And even though he slept through it, he was there. He was there for the birth of the placenta and held his brother. He was there to see the blood, the cord and to examine the placenta. And the three of us welcomed the new member of our family together. In our own home, the very place we have created for the children. That is so precious I cannot describe it in words. The whole experience made Orión grow spiritually and mentally, and very fast. During the days that followed he kept saying the most beautiful things to me:

“You are Magic Mama” 

“You are beautiful Mama”

That’s a four year old really SEEING the magic of birth. And that is how we can create true change in society, to once again let birth be a natural part of life. 

Even though I am the one birthing my baby myself regardless, I now entered a new level of spiritual leadership. I was my own midwife, guiding both me, the baby and Ola all the while listening to the guidance from the baby. 

It was the most powerful experience I’ve ever had

I felt like I completely embodied The Shaman. I split myself to go into several dimensions and worlds at the same time. And I was fully present in all of these worlds simultaneously. And after, I instantly grounded myself. A fast journey but so present. Not too high, not too low. Present everywhere.  

It was incredible. 

I’ve said it before. No shamanic journey can ever come close to that of childbirth. 

The wisdom it brings. Clarity. Strength. Enlightenment. Real Life awareness. 

After the birth

The midwife examined me and my baby boy. We were both just fine and he was so awake.  Then she examined the placenta which also looked great and intact. 

I stayed with my herbal drinks but I felt very strong. Grounded and strong at the same time. Because I never journeyed too deep or too high, I wasn’t exhausted. Sure, my body needed rest and I honor the postpartum period as an important time for rest and healing. My baby shows the way by telling me what he needs, and so I understand what I need and what kind of rest. A very different one from last time. 

In the journey of understanding more of my body, I’ve come to a fine balance of strength and flexibility. This combination of qualities really defines woman and is what makes her strong in childbirth. So now in my postnatal time, I work with reducing the softness and flexibility in the ligaments through conscious and slow strength. 

The yoga I teach women is all about using the yogic techniques in everyday life, preferably without thinking. When lifting and sitting and standing and walking. Carrying my baby aids me in my recovery by reminding me where I need to take it slow. With Orion, I slept much of the time as did he. Now, Love likes it when I walk around and do the dishes and he sleeps or rests well in the sling. And everyday I feel how the body gets stronger and stronger from carrying him. Inbetween, I lay down to stretch my back. So grateful for the little ones guiding me so clearly!

How Love got his name

During the time he spent in my womb, I felt strongly that this being has a mystery energy to him. He is very clear that he is himself and that we all have to listen to him and slow down a bit compared to previous years. So, he really wanted me to listen for the name rather than just telling or showing me. 

A couple of days after his birth, when the moon was full, we sat down just him and me in the ceremonial room. Looking around the sacred objects, altar and art, resting and listening, I asked out loud for the name. I felt the name carried a balance, peace and calm in its energy. I looked at the birth art on the wall and knew the answer lies in the union in between. 

The dawn. The time when the moon and the sun meet to kiss in the sky. So much love.

I said “love” out loud. Then suddenly I said Love in Swedish, a name I’ve barely heard before. And instantly I felt how the name fell into place in my being and the little boy in my arms gave me his mysterious little smile. I had nailed it! Now I had to present it to the rest of the family. I waited overnight to let the name sink in and to try it between us two, to be sure. 

In the morning, we had a family gathering in front of the altar and I suggested the name. Orion, as Orion is, instantly cried out YES! with a huge smile. He loved it and knew it was right! Ola, as Ola is, was quiet and had to sit with it for a while. Since Orion had already accepted the name Love, it was no turning back (and Ola knew it). 

Except for the meaning of peace, and moon meets sun, I had to look up the name Love. Again very mysterious and difficult to really trace somewhere. But I got to Old English Lufu (love) and a form of Lou, meaning wolf. As the wolf is his power animal, I was satisfied. The name is an old nordic name, and in Swedish the meaning is unclear. 

Further on, I asked Ola for the boy’s second name. He didn’t have it. But I understood it had to come from him, through him. “Remember the sky”, I said, when Love arrived you saw the sky and must know what messages came through.” I never saw the sky or the morning light as I was a little busy. 

“The rays from the sun had just begun to crack, breaking through the night”, he said. “It looked like the deep, mysterious and beautiful Dahlia flower. Dalian”, Ola said.

We decided not to rush anything, but to feel it out, just like Love’s trying to teach us. 

The dahlia symbolism includes finding inner strength, positive change, standing out from the crowd and to always be kind. It is also the national flower of Mexico, home of the moon dance. So again, I was satisfied the symbolism confirmed how we felt. 

And so we had come to an agreement: Love Dalian Chandrakaí.

We are all so grateful and happy that he is here, bringing balance and tranquility and wisdom to our family. The adventures have already begun, as you can tell from his birth story, and many more are to come.

As I took Love in my arms that morning, for the very first time, I was filled with a deep acceptance and love for my task to be the leader for the men in my life. It is a great responsibility to be a leader for the men of the new age, something that scared me when Orion came. Now, I’ve found peace with my mission. And even though I teach spiritual leadership to women, my boys and family are my practice and where I need to be. As I am the leader of our group, just as any woman and mother has to be the spiritual leader for her family. To guide the new world forward. To birth the new. 

Asi es Asi es Asi es !

Ometeotl

Thank you Love ❤️